light gazing, ışığa bakmak

Friday, March 14, 2014

jokes for boys

Why was 6 afraid of 7?
Because: 7 8 9
Q: What is full of holes but can still hold water?
A: A sponge!
Q. Why did the fool climb the glass wall?
A. To see what was on the other side.
Q. How do you make a fool laugh on a Sunday?
A. Tell him a joke on Saturday.
Q. Which word is the odd one out - Stun, Ton, Evil, Letter, Mood, Bad, Snap, Straw?
A. Letter. If you read them all backwards, letter is the only one that does not make another word.
Q. What do cats eat for breakfast?
A. Mice Crispies.
Q. Where do horses go when they're sick?
A. The horsepital.
A dog went to a telegram office, took out a blank form and wrote: "Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof." The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog, "There are only nine words here. You could send another 'Woof' for the same price." The dog replied, "but that would make no sense at all!"
A man was driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back seat. The police stop him and say that he can't drive around with the penguins in the car and should take them to the zoo. The man agrees and drives off.
The next day the same man is driving down the road with twenty penguins in the back and again. He is stopped by the same police officer who says, "Hey! I thought I told you to take those to the zoo."
The man replies "I did. Today I'm taking them to the movies."
A duck walks into a bar and asks, "Do you have any grapes?" The bartender says, "No, I am sorry, we have cherries and olives but no grapes." "Oh," says the duck and leaves. Ten minutes later the duck returns and asks the same bartender, "Do you have any grapes?" "Like I said before, we have cherries and olives, but WE DON'T HAVE GRAPES!" says the bartender. "Oh," says the duck and leaves. But ten minutes later the duck returns and again asks, "Do you have any grapes?" "Look, beak lips," screams the bartender. "WE HAVE NO GRAPES!, we will never have NO grapes! and if you ask me again, I am going to nail your webby little feet to the floor!!!" "Oh," says the duck and leaves. Ten minutes later, the door swings open and the duck returns. The bartender is furious. He slams a bottle of beer down on the bar, stares menacingly at the duck and screams, "WHAT???!!" " ...have...any....NAILS?" "Nails? Nails? No, we don't have nails," answers the bartender. "Mmmm," says the duck. "So, do you have any grapes?"
"Dad, can you write in the dark?"
"I think so. What is it you want me to write?"
"Your name on this report card."
Q: Why did the boy eat his homework? A: Because his teacher said it was a piece of cake!
A man was looking out his window when he noticed that there was a snail on one of his plants. So he took the snail and threw him as far as he could. Ten years later the old man heard a tap tap tap on his window, and when he looked up he saw a very cross snail who looked at him and
said, “Hey, what did you do that for?”
Q: What do you call the king of vegetables?
A: Elvis Parsley.
Q. Can you use pink,yellow and green in a sentence?
A. The phone went green green, and I pinked it up and said yellow.
TEACHER : Winnie, name an important thing we have today, we didn't have 10 years ago.
TEACHER : Clyde, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, teacher, it's the same dog!
TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD : A teacher.
Teacher: why couldn't your brother spell 'Mississippi' when I asked him this afternoon in class ?
Boy: Because he didn't know if you meant the river or the state !
'Hello, Billy. Do you like your new school?' asked Uncle Ned.
'Sometimes,' said the boy.
'When is that?'
'When it's closed!'
So you are distantly related to the family next door, are you?
Yes- their dog is our dog's brother.
Mom: What are you doing son?
Boy: Writing my brother a letter.
Mom: That's a lovely idea, dear, but why are you writing so slowly?
Boy: Because he can't read very fast!
Paddy and Mick were watching a John Wayne film on TV. In one scene John Waynewas riding madly towards a cliff. 'I'll bet you $10 he falls over that cliff' said Paddy.
'Done,' said Mick.
John Wayne rode straight over the cliff. As Mick handed over his $10, Paddy said 'I feel a bit guilty about this, I've seen the film before.'
'So have I,' said Mick, 'but I didn't think that he would be stupid enough to make the same mistake twice !'
Dan: I'm glad I'm not a bird.
Dad: Why ?
Dan: Because I can't fly !
'Mum,' yelled Johnny from the kitchen, 'you know that dish you were always worried that I would break ?'
'Yes dear, what about it ?'
'Well your worries are over.'
James was late for school. When his teacher asked him why, James replied, "Sorry, Miss, I was dreaming about a soccer match." She looked confused and said, "But that still doesn't explain why you're late."  He replied, "There was extra time."
Waiter, this soup tastes funny!
Why aren't you laughing, then?
How do pigs travel to hospital?
In a hambulance.
Why didn't the two fours want any dinner?
Because they already eight.
Teacher: If egs were 1 euro a dozen, how many would you get for 2 euros?
Student: None.
Teacher: None?
Student: If I had 2 euros, I'd get a bag of potato chips.
A teacher was taking his first class at a new school. After introducing himself, he announced: "Stand up if you think you're stupid." Nobody moved, and then after a minute, one student stood up. "So you think you're an idiot, then? said the teacher. "No", replied the student, "I just didn't want you standing up all of your own."
A boy came home from school and told his mother he couldn't do science any more. 'Why not?', asked his mother. 'Because I blew something up.' explained her son. 'What?' she said. 'The school', he replied.
Mother: Why was your exam score so low last week?
Son: Absence.
Mother: What, you missed the exam?
Son: No, but the girl who sits next to me did.
Why couldn't a math book help another math book.
Because it had its own problems.
Why was the monkey lonely?
Because the banana split.

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